The Insignificant Others

I’m here to say that Invisible Girl has never been in better form. She has confirmed that “out of sight, out of mind” is a true phenomenon that may lead to the coining of a new term – “insignificant other.” Perhaps it is a casualty of our dwindling attention spans, but more likely it is a convenient excuse for not investing energy into an old-fashioned practice called thoughtfulness. Invisible Girl has discovered that the here and now, the present moment, the action that is being done at this very minute is the only thing that seems to garner our attention. That makes Invisible Girl melancholy, but since her power is in her invisibility, no one seems to notice.

The other day Invisible Girl walked into a coffee shop. She truly thought she had mastered a magnetic presence having dressed smartly and carefully left her super powers in the front seat of her car along with her cell phone. After she ordered her regular decaf double tall latte (you know all the taste of a turbo charged coffee with an invisible caffeine kick), she caught the eye of someone she knew. In that moment when the eyes meet and the flicker of recognition registers, there is a choice. Invisible Girl found that perhaps she had not left her super powers in the car because she was met with a turn of the head and a blatant rebuff that telegraphed that she was unrecognizable, insignificant. In the seconds after recognition a choice was made to turn away, ignore and avoid attention. We’ve all done it. You know, you see someone and then pretend that you didn’t. At some point a conscious choice was made to make them the insignificant other.

In that moment, Invisible Girl discovered that there is a space between the flicker of recognition and the choice to ignore. It is a space that attracts cowards. Denial is always a cowardly act. It is a space that holds the lost, a kind of Never-Never Land where accountability has no place. And it is a place for false friends, perhaps some call them acquaintances, but they are those people that aren’t invested in knowing or recognizing you if it doesn’t gain them something in return. And as Invisible Girl was pulled into that space in the coffee shop, she was engulfed in a cloak of nothingness, and never felt a stronger renewal of her super powers. Yet, in that moment Invisible Girl discovered that she also had a choice. She would not be suffocated in a blanket of obscurity. She would seek out new lands in all the spaces that attract heroes. She would choose to be a bright light leaving Never-Never Land for the lost even if she had to expend all of her pixy dust in her escape. And she would look to those who upon experiencing the flicker of recognition turn toward you and lean in with outstretched hand, making a space for acceptance and affirmation. Those are the friends that make Invisible Girl feel merely mortal. They are the friends that are her true super heroes.

© 2013 Invisible Girl